Wow… high school graduation! … When did you become an adult? Man! Time is a thief! I am not sure how this happened yet HERE WE ARE! I am trying to soak in EVERY moment and enjoy this time before my free spirit child is set free and off to college after this summer. Even though my daughter was born premature… it’s still not enough time!
I have loved EVERY special moments like birthdays, tea parties, dress up, movie nights, game nights, winter formals, first dates, sleepovers with friends, prom, first job, new job, love, ect. I have also loved all of the rainy movie days, Friday nights in, Sundays at church, trips to the store for ONE thing because I forgot to add it to the grocery pickup order. There are so many memories…
I feel like I lost A LOT of time spent on punishment and scolding her for her very poor life choices (These were not minor issues either!). These issues were things were beyond the usual: don’t lie, don’t go here, do this chore, pick up your room, ect. Her grades were plummeting so we took her phone away as we believed that social media was the issue. The catch 22 part was not knowing where she was when skipping class because she was not in possession of her phone.
The final straw was her skipping school all day, on the first full day my husband and I were on a trip in Mexico – thousands of miles away! Mind you, this was the only trip we went on without the kids. Long story, short – I don’t believe it was until I sobbed and sobbed in front of her expressing my fears that she fully understood the MAGNITUDE of her own actions and how scared I was for her safety. In my puddle of tears, I told her I was afraid of: her being harmed in any way, lying in a ditch, being kidnapped, picked up for trafficking, getting caught up in drugs, and everything else just as bad or worse…
As a freshman during the height of the COVID pandemic, she became addicted to social media. Clearly this was an issue for many around the world, not just teenagers. She was already distracted with so many other things that were not important. Her grades were in the gutter and she needed to refocus. Now, the social media was not an option, she was not my biggest fan! She did have the privilege of her phone so she could communicate with her friends over text, FaceTime and the occasional phone calls teenagers make these days. NOW – we could see her location again. Over the next 2 years, she realized the impact social media can have on your life. (This was something I had learned as an adult too!).
As soon as she passed her last final exam, giving her a C in Math (I would’ve taken a D – this was the point we were at), she earned the privilege of social media. Her younger brother, 14, asked for Snapchat and Tiktok at the same moment. My daughter spoke up immediately and told her little brother (who’s taller than her) that he did not need the distraction of those apps. She said “You need to focus on school and sports”. Wow! Talk about a full circle moment…
So, she’s officially an adult! … not really, yet you know what I mean. She and all of her peers have so much to learn… yet we KNEW it all back then too! Right? She’s pushing forward as she had a job interview yesterday and landed the job. She starts orientation in a few weeks! I am very proud of her. She will be working at the hospital with me, the one I’ve at for 30 years, and I am proud to say she got the job all on her own. I could’ve made a few phone calls but I restrained myself. I am so thankful I did as she earned the job all on her own.
With other things in life, I keep finding myself following up to make sure she has completed certain tasks. I tell myself that I am NOT going to say anything… THEN I DO! No one really warns you JUST how hard this is … I will help her and guide her yet it’s time for her to fail forward on her own. When it comes to very important things, I will provide a subtle reminder yet the rest is up to her…
As she embarks on this next chapter, I hope she listened more than what it appears. ☺️ Live it up baby girl! Go live your dreams… I will always be here when needed!
Confessions of a Midwest Life 